So, with purpled legs and swollen ankles the Other trudged (or rather, drove) to the nearby Subway, where she and the aforementioned father decided upon the most rational course of action - splitting the $5 footlong. Now, the Other understands that one cannot order two different six inch sandwiches and call it a 12 inch sandwich - one tuna and one roast beef, well, that's clearly two sandwiches, not one. However, should the Other order a 12 inch roastbeef, get some toppings on the whole thing, and ask for tomatoes on one half of the sandwich, well, that would still be just one sandwich. NO. WRONG. Apparently Subway, being the sandwich masters, get to define what constitutes one sandwich or two (that's right my friends - they've finally answered Jim Risser's unanswerable question about the one and the two. All hail Subway). Apparently, six inches of sandwich with tomatoes and six inches without means that we've got two different sandwiches on our hands. Graciously, the Other was given the opportunity to choose to either leave the tomatoes off entirely or put them on the whole sandwich. Let me tell you something you might not know, fellow iron-caged philosophs - if you order 6 extra inches of tomatoes, the price of your sandwich purchase actually goes down! Yes, yes. Finally, the Other very astutely struck a bargain with said Subway worker (to hereafter be known only through her occupation)...one can ask for 'light tomatoes.' This meant that, in total, half the usual number of tomato slices were put onto the sandwich, but were spread all the way across. The Other paid her five bucks, opened the packaging and lifted the top slice of bun, and moved all the tomatoes over to one side with her fence-splintered fingers. Victory. Girl with hair the color of tomato blood, this story goes out to you.
In other news, the Other will assume the guise of a qualified first grade teacher for this next week. Wish her luck. She would also like to let her dear friend and other Narcissus know that, speaking as someone who has had both recurring dreams of dinosaurs breaking into her house and has worked as a pawn of the educational system, the educational system is truly the winner.
Also, she would like to point out that having never ventured to the czech republic, the Narc has only about as much qualification to speak on the size of the sausages of central europe as the Other does to teach america's youth.
narc -noun slang. a government agent or detective charged with the
enforcement of laws restricting the use of narcotics.
See also tool.
The Other loves it when she comes up with clever things and makes herself giggle.
-Other
